{Busy Woman’s Guide to Balance} 5 Steps to Establish Your Boundaries

By Blair Lindler

Busy Woman’s Guide to Balance: How to Establish Your Boundaries

As women in this modern world, we tend to shoulder seemingly EVERYTHING!  We want to be spiritually fulfilled, we want to be wonderful wives/girlfriends, we want to be the best Moms, we want to make valuable contributions to our society/world, we are balancing the household, we are trying to stay well read, we are trying to be fabulous hostesses, we may even be trying to keep a career going strong.  Oh and somewhere in there is sleeping.

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Goodness!

Seriously though, as women we are powerful – even if quietly so.  And we want to be the best of everything – so we’re perfectionists.

But let’s be realistic.  We simply cannot do everything.

If someone asks us to help with something, we want to say yes.  If someone asks us to go to an event, we want to say yes.  If someone asks us to volunteer for something, we want to say yes.  If someone asks us to support a cause, we want to say yes.  If someone asks us to… Well you get the idea.

Yet we, as women, hate to say that two letter word – “No.”

So as 2014 begins, I think it’s an appropriate time to talk about priorities, balance, and establishing your own personal boundaries. 🙂

Let’s make a pledge together – to make 2014 the year of balance so that we can ENJOY our lives.

Because remember, being stressed (and being chronically stressed) is a fat loading BOMB! Stress sends those hormones into fat storage mode on a whole ‘nother level…

 So here’s the first (of several) posts I will be making this year about Balance…

balance boundaries

The first step of Balance is to establish your boundaries.  So pull out a piece of paper/pen and find a quiet spot where you can do some thinking, reflecting, and brainstorming!

Take your time with each question and truly ask yourself each question – dig deep into your emotions and write it down.  You’re the person who NEEDS to see the answers to these questions.

I’ve provided a couple of examples of each question to help get you thinking/started. 🙂

5 Steps to Establish Your Boundaries

Boundary (noun): Set of parameters which make you a unique, autonomous and free individual who has the freedom to be a creative, original, idiosyncratic problem solver.

  1. What boundaries do you feel are being violated in your life right now?
    1. Self Care?
    2. Spiritual Life?
    3. Financial Life?
    4. Family Time?
  2. Why are (you letting) these boundaries being violated (whether its consciously or subconsciously)?
    1. For example: I feel that I have to attend those meetings or I will not be as liked. I fear that I will lose friends.
  3. What new ways of thinking can you engage in, in order to sustain/respect the healthy boundaries?
    1. For example: True friends are not dependent upon my money and attendance to meetings.
  4. What behaviors do you need to change in order to encourage your healthy boundaries?
    1. For example: Reduce my involvement in this organization to allow for more time with my family and friends.
  5. Now put your beliefs and behaviors into action!

Coming up in this series, I’ll be talking about priorities, learning to say no, finding yourself once the smoke has cleared, and more… stay tuned! 🙂

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